Ready, Willing and Able

I have a dear friend who has been down lately.  She has been really struggling emotionally and spiritually.  Her confidence, self-esteem and self-worth seem to be really affected and it has been really hard to watch her suffer in this way.  I remember when I first met her, and thinking “Wow, this woman has it all, I hope to be like her one day.”  I still see glimpses of that woman once in a while, but right now she is buried and needs to be dug out from that pile of crap covering her up.

I’m not sure what happened to make her feel this way.  We all have our stories, and I will share mine. I had extremely low self-esteem to the point that I didn’t think it could possibly get lower.  But I learned that, without your consent,  no one can make you feel inferior.  If you don’t buy into it, or refuse to being reduced to a level of an object, or comparison, you cannot possibly feel inferior.  Sure, you may know something to a lesser amount than someone else, or you may not be able to do something as well as another person, but every single one of us is unique.  I have my strengths and talents, and you have yours.  Where I excel you may not.  When I don’t do something too well, you may be outstanding at it.  That’s the greatest thing about this world, and what makes it go round.  But to learn to accept and live by that is hard work.

I find though, that being in a rut makes the world extremely difficult to bare at times.  Living in it becomes a lonely place.  But it doesn’t have to be that way, especially when we are feeling like this.  Shared sorrow is half the sorrow.  There is no reason to go about it alone.  There are many people around you who love you, and who are ready and waiting to provide you with the support that is so desperately needed.  Most of the time we are blinded by the darkness, and cannot see the little candle flickering in the corner, which is being held by the of people who love you.  There are so many people there, people who can love you if you give them a chance.  Just like shared sorrow is half the sorrow, shared joy is double the joy.

But nothing will happen if you aren’t ready to receive.  Being in such a place, one of self-unworthiness makes it difficult to receive because you believe that you shouldn’t have it.  But it’s ok to receive, it’s your birthright.  And most times, when you are like this, you give so much of yourself because you want the human connection, you want to feel wanted.  But that’s not how it works.  It can’t be one-sided, you have to receive as well.  You have to allow others to give some of the love that you so freely give.  There has to be a balance.  Just as the law of attractions states, we receive what we give, but how can this happen if you put up blockers to receiving?

My friend took a very big step to growing into herself.  She recognised that she has a second family around her who loves her.  This family isn’t made up of blood relatives, but comprised of relationships built on mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness.  Whether she is on a very high high, or a very down low, we are there for her.  No matter what.

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4 thoughts on “Ready, Willing and Able

  1. Dear Smartie,
    With your attitude of care, friendship is going to always be a blessing!

    “I have a hand, and you have another;
    put them together and we have each other.”

    “No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.”
    – Francois Mocuriac

    🙂 Koyl

  2. Hi Smartie,
    I’ve read your blog post and liked it very much. I have actually learned in the last little while on how to separate my emotions. People can sit back and talk for hours on how they don’t fit into life. I sometimes get upset with friends, family members on explaining that a change is needed in order to make a difference. So why should I be upset on their decisions. If one choices their road then drive it the way you choose to. If you don’t like where you are then pull up your pants and make your changes. If you need help on those changes, there are friends and family or even on a professional level that will help you. I have taken my start and figured out I should not feel guilty on other people’s bad decision making, rather accept them for what they decide, stand back and enjoy their success or also be that friend in their time of despair. So from now on, no more getting upset when someone does not adhere to ones advice. Just plainly end it with a simple statement, that’s my opinion the rest is up to you to take the initiative for change.

    • Hi Gabe,
      I sense some growth is taking place within you. It is very difficult to see a friend make a decision which is difference from what you think is best, and see that there is a potential that they can suffer from it. However, it is their life to live. It’s a very painful process, but ultimately, your relationships will be better, less tension and more joy. You will also discover the basis of what most of your relationships have been built on.
      Congratulations!

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