Be Careful What You Wish For….

“There’s nothing scarier then getting what you want, cause that’s when you really have something to lose.” – Unknown

Now ain’t that the truth!!

It’s friggin scary – right down to the bone.  Why is that?  When we don’t get what we want, we complain on end.  “I hate my job, I wish I had a job that I like” or “I hate my house, I wish it was_____” or “life sucks” etc.  But when change takes place, and the universe gives us what we want, we become stuck.  It’s like we’re paralyzed with fear and we’re unable to act, or all of a sudden we develop some sort of selective amnesia.

On Friday I didn’t go into work.  My daughter had a PA Day and was home, and I’ve missed her terribly these last couple of weeks.  She spent a lot of time with her Dad as a result of our trip to Florida, so I decided to stay home with her.  I remember thinking on Friday, and also over the weekend (it was Daddy weekend), that I wished that I could stay home with her more often.  Last summer when I was unemployed, although it was extremely stressful, I enjoyed it because I got to be home with her during the summer break.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like working, I love it.  I just want to do something that I love, and I want to work for myself, make my own hours this way I can be home with my family more.  I’ve been fortunate that the last few jobs I had were very flexible in terms of hours and working from home.  But I still didn’t work for myself.

So yesterday the universe answered my request.  My place of employment is dissolving, and I was laid off.  Last year when I was laid off I cried my eyes out.  This time, I started laughing.  My boss thought I was crazy!  I couldn’t believe what was unfolding before my eyes!!!  I have been given everything I’ve wanted – to be home with my daughter during the summer, time to take the writing courses I’ve been wanting to, time to start my own business and so much more!

So why am I so friggin scared?

Like the quote said, it’s because now I have something to lose.  You see, we get so comfortable with the way things are in life that when we actually take a risk to go after what we dream of, it becomes so scary.  Rarely do people do that.  Not many people can go after what they want from life because they don’t even know what it is that they want.

What makes it scary?  It’s going against the norm, knowing that you’re on your own, and you’re going after your own dream, doing the work to make you succeed, not someone else.  We’ve been conditioned to go to school, get a good education, get a good job and retire there.  Nowhere does it say to do what you love.  Some people do love what they do while working for someone else, but that isn’t the norm.  That is rare.

Also, you don’t just wake up one morning and think “I’m going to do this.”  No, you feel a deep dissatisfaction inside of you, even though you’re happy, there is a sense of unhappiness just hanging out somewhere in your chest.  You realise that things are not the way you hoped they would be, and you know that they won’t change until you do something about it.

We become paralysed with fear because when we set out to do something, we find it so hard, we don’t know what to do.  Then we think about the past, and how much better it was the way things were, and the present seems worse.  But we forget how dissatisfied we were.  We start caring about what people think of us, about looking like a failure and worry and them talking and saying “see, I know she couldn’t do that.” Then we get slowly lulled back into the old routine.

Life should be about doing what you love, it’s not about caring what other people think.  It’s about taking chances, laughing your heart out until you get a big belly ache, it’s about dancing in the rain, having dinner in your pjs. It’s ok if you fail, and especially ok if you fail more than once.  How do you know if you’ve succeed if you’ve never took the chance, and have never failed.  Imagine what we’d look like if we didn’t take the chance to walk when we were babies?  Or we stopped after we fell the first time?  It’s about taking the risk.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming WOOHOO, what a ride!” – Unknown

11 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Wish For….

  1. Koyl says:

    soooo true, and as Thoreau said “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

    Another good post, Smartie! 🙂

  2. Gabe says:

    Very nice, I’ve always had the thoughts in life to do what I want and live the way I want. As long as the priorities are taken care of, my thing has been to enjoy life as much as I can. Don’t worry and be happy.
    It’s funny but my friends and I have this little saying between us when we do something that’s fun. “JUST LIVING THE DREAM”
    Love this one, right up my ally.

  3. Vanessa says:

    Very exciting – best of luck on this wonderful new adventure! Although it has been tough being home with two babies, it has truly been my dream come true. However, it took some getting used to, not going to work everyday. Enjoy the summer and your new journey.

  4. erica says:

    Congrats!! This lightbulb was soooo insightful and inspiring. Motivates me even more to follow my,dreams! Thank you.

  5. glaminglamour says:

    Hey Smartie.
    From my experience and from loosing things that I love – I have come to realize two powerful things.

    1. Fear is a character defect – it will hold me back from doing what I love. When the universe answers my prayer and gives me what I want – I now fear of loosing it. So now in fact I am not as happy as I can potentially be. So what worth is it? when will I be truly and fully happy? The answer is never as long as I harbour that character defect. This brings me to the second realization.

    2. I must remember that every thing comes to an end sometime or another. Nothing in the world is infinite – the only infinite things in the world is God nothing else. Therefore it is all a matter of time before something comes to an end – whether it is a relationship, a friendship or a job. Some will last longer than others, some might need to die, but in all cases – everything comes to an end. That is the nature of the world. Yes it is scary, but there is nothing we can do about it. If we remain afraid – we are giving in to a character defect (as mentioned before) but if we simply accept it – it will allow us to enjoy every second that we have our dream. It will let us relish and appreciate what we have for the time being – there are many posts in my blog that refer to this. Once we have accepted and once we have chosen to live for the moment – we can fully enjoy our dreams and be fully happy – only for today.

    Good luck on you new venture and have fun with your precious daughter.


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