Where Does The Time Go?

“For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.”  ~Doug Larson

My big trip to Europe is quickly approaching.  It’s only three weeks away!  In my mind I know what I need to pack, but I have to transfer this over to paper, that way when it does come time to pack I’m not scrambling to remember.  I can’t believe how quickly it’s coming.  It feels as if just yesterday I was boarding the plane to Florida.

And then I realised that it’s already two weeks since I’ve been home.  That was a real shocker to me. Where did THAT time go?

Why is it that when you are not working, whether it be that you’re on vacation, have some time off etc, that you’re more busy than when you’re at work?  I still wake up at the same time every morning.  It’s not like I don’t want to sleep in, because I certainly do because I LOVE to sleep, and when I go to bed, I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow.  I’m exhausted all the time.  But seriously, why is it that way?

I often wonder how did I do it when I was working? Get all this done, plus commute to and from work, and put in a full day?  I guess you just become busy with different things that normally you wouldn’t be busy with.  Take yesterday for example: Woke up, blogged, took care of business stuff, I dropped off my daughter at school, ran to the store to get something, then met up with a dear friend to discuss some business stuff, then off to my old employer to submit my last expense bill, go to another store to return stuff, pick up my daughter, rush her to her dance rehearsal, rush home and make dinner, and then meet up with the real estate agent and my ex, and then take care of other business stuff. My day started at 6am and ended at 11:30pm.  No wonder I was tired!!

Every day isn’t exactly like that, but it’s pretty damn close.  So, how do I make it easier?  What needs to change?  DO I need to look into better time management options, or maybe just clone myself?  I wish there were things I could just decide not do, but these are all necessities, but it’s not possible.  Especially now that I’m a single mom.

Oh wow, look at the time.  Enough rambling, I must go!  There are tonnes of things to be done today! hahahaha.

Have a great day everyone!
Smartie

Be Careful What You Wish For….

“There’s nothing scarier then getting what you want, cause that’s when you really have something to lose.” – Unknown

Now ain’t that the truth!!

It’s friggin scary – right down to the bone.  Why is that?  When we don’t get what we want, we complain on end.  “I hate my job, I wish I had a job that I like” or “I hate my house, I wish it was_____” or “life sucks” etc.  But when change takes place, and the universe gives us what we want, we become stuck.  It’s like we’re paralyzed with fear and we’re unable to act, or all of a sudden we develop some sort of selective amnesia.

On Friday I didn’t go into work.  My daughter had a PA Day and was home, and I’ve missed her terribly these last couple of weeks.  She spent a lot of time with her Dad as a result of our trip to Florida, so I decided to stay home with her.  I remember thinking on Friday, and also over the weekend (it was Daddy weekend), that I wished that I could stay home with her more often.  Last summer when I was unemployed, although it was extremely stressful, I enjoyed it because I got to be home with her during the summer break.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like working, I love it.  I just want to do something that I love, and I want to work for myself, make my own hours this way I can be home with my family more.  I’ve been fortunate that the last few jobs I had were very flexible in terms of hours and working from home.  But I still didn’t work for myself.

So yesterday the universe answered my request.  My place of employment is dissolving, and I was laid off.  Last year when I was laid off I cried my eyes out.  This time, I started laughing.  My boss thought I was crazy!  I couldn’t believe what was unfolding before my eyes!!!  I have been given everything I’ve wanted – to be home with my daughter during the summer, time to take the writing courses I’ve been wanting to, time to start my own business and so much more!

So why am I so friggin scared?

Like the quote said, it’s because now I have something to lose.  You see, we get so comfortable with the way things are in life that when we actually take a risk to go after what we dream of, it becomes so scary.  Rarely do people do that.  Not many people can go after what they want from life because they don’t even know what it is that they want.

What makes it scary?  It’s going against the norm, knowing that you’re on your own, and you’re going after your own dream, doing the work to make you succeed, not someone else.  We’ve been conditioned to go to school, get a good education, get a good job and retire there.  Nowhere does it say to do what you love.  Some people do love what they do while working for someone else, but that isn’t the norm.  That is rare.

Also, you don’t just wake up one morning and think “I’m going to do this.”  No, you feel a deep dissatisfaction inside of you, even though you’re happy, there is a sense of unhappiness just hanging out somewhere in your chest.  You realise that things are not the way you hoped they would be, and you know that they won’t change until you do something about it.

We become paralysed with fear because when we set out to do something, we find it so hard, we don’t know what to do.  Then we think about the past, and how much better it was the way things were, and the present seems worse.  But we forget how dissatisfied we were.  We start caring about what people think of us, about looking like a failure and worry and them talking and saying “see, I know she couldn’t do that.” Then we get slowly lulled back into the old routine.

Life should be about doing what you love, it’s not about caring what other people think.  It’s about taking chances, laughing your heart out until you get a big belly ache, it’s about dancing in the rain, having dinner in your pjs. It’s ok if you fail, and especially ok if you fail more than once.  How do you know if you’ve succeed if you’ve never took the chance, and have never failed.  Imagine what we’d look like if we didn’t take the chance to walk when we were babies?  Or we stopped after we fell the first time?  It’s about taking the risk.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming WOOHOO, what a ride!” – Unknown