“You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you” – Carly Simon
Yeah you. I’m talking about you. You know who you are – the one who is reading this.
Every one of you. Every single person reading this.
You-are-vain. Vain, I say.
As I write this post I’m sitting in a pub listening to brave souls who have gathered the courage to play at a jazz meetup. One girl sang “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon and it got me thinking about the way I was feeling earlier today.
Here’s the thing, I was feeling tense and anxious for some reason and my mind started racing ahead to where I was going – my former place of employment RL Solutions. I’m not sure what was going on in this great big abyss of a mind I have but I was thinking of what they would think of me and what I’ve been up to lately. There has been a lot of changes going on in my life, and many of these people I havent’ seen in about a year and a half. I was very uptight and nervous. I made sure to doll myself up. I thought I looked good, and I wanted to make sure others thought the same thing.
But you know what?
They don’t care. They don’t want to know what’s going on in my life to the extent as I thought they should. Why would they? Sure, they may comment that I look nice, but does it make a difference in their life? No way. They have their own things to think of. I’m embarrased to say, but I think that I subconsciously wanted this night to end up being about me and not the real reason why I was going there – which was to celebrate the grand opening of their new location, their open house.
Even at this moment I think about what people are thinking of me. I’m sitting at a table typing away on on my phone, listening to the music. How big of me to think that instead of these people enjoying the bluegrass music being played that they’d be more interested in me typing away. Sure Smartie, you’re THAT important!
So, tell me, how many times does this happen to you? How often do you think everything is all about you? I bet that you have thought that the closed door to your boss’s office, or the many meetings being held lately is because of you even though there is no evidence pointing towards that? And how about that comment someone made while you were in in a group of people that hit your right in the heart, you just know it was directed towards you, even though there is no reason at all for it? Or how about that everyone should you because you’re perfect, your good looking and you have never done anything wrong? It’s always the other person who is at fault, never you.
Does all of the above really mean that we’re really vain? Hell yeah. We tend to think that everything is about us.
What else would we call it?
It’s not pride. Deffinitely not pride. Pride and vanity are two different things. However, I believe that they are often used synonymously. You can be proud of yourself without being vain. My belief is that pride is more about your opinion about yourself, and being vain is about what you want others to think about you. Like not so smart me today wanted everyone to think that I have it together and I’m Queen Thang.
I’m not saying to not think highly of yourself, not to take care of yourself. Make sure you look nice, pretty. Do your best with everything. Doll yourself up. Be PROUD! But next time you’re thinking “it’s about me” step back and think is it really? You just might be vain.